For The Love of Bam

Title: The End of Something Old
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Dugera (Ryan Dunn and Bam Margera)
Summary: Bam royally fucks up and Ryan leave. But can either of them truly live apart from each other?
Warnings: Very brief mention of an orgy and fluff galore! And a big AAWW moment at the end.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. I do not know any of the famous people I write about and will never claim to. I'm just a fan and this is just my story.

It had been a wild, random party that Bam had hosed at his house. Castle Bam was packed with sweating bodies moving to the beat of the thumping music. Normally this was not Ryan’s type of party, but Bam had begged him to make an appearance. And what Bam wanted, he got. Within the first five seconds Ryan had been able to find every one of the CKY boys except for Bam. Ryan was starting to worry. Just as the clock struck 1am Ryan pulled Novak aside.

"Dude, where's Bam?"

"He's over there somewhere" , Novak answered over the shoulder of a beautiful blonde.

“Thanks, man”, Ryan shouted over the music heading toward the door Novak had pointed to.

Slowly Ryan pushed the door open peeking inside. The sight he found made him want to slam his fist into the wall or even someone's face. There were at least five bodies in the tangled mass of limbs, but Ryan knew Bam’s tattooed skin in a second.

“BAM!”

“Oh shit! Ryan! Ryan, wait!”

In his haste Bam ran out of the room completely naked chasing after his boyfriend. Ryan was practically sprinting for the door, but Bam caught up managing to tackle his boyfriend into a snow bank.

“Ryan, wait! I can explain”, Bam said his speech obviously slurred.

“You’re drunk, Bam. Get off.”

“Can- -can- -can you just wait. Or at least let’s go back inside. I think my balls are freezing off.”

Ryan gave his boyfriend and exasperated sigh. He knew that there was no use arguing with a highly intoxicated Bam.

“Fine, but I’m leaving in the morning.”

“Whatever you say, baby. Now come back inside. I’m gonna fuck you through the bed!”

Ryan gave an exasperated sigh following Bam back into the house. As soon as they walked through the door Bam jumped on Ryan’s back wrapping his limbs around his boyfriend. Everyone around cheered laughing thinking that the two boys were joking around, but Ryan was in no mood to laugh. Ryan unceremoniously dumped Bam in his bed and turned to leave.

“No!”

“What now?”

“Come here!”

Ryan turned returning to Bam’s side with his arms crossed looking down at his naked boyfriend.

“Go to sleep, Bam.”

“Not till I get to fuck you.”

“Bam, you need to get some sleep and sober up. You can fuck me in the morning.”

Finally Bam agreed and passed out. Ryan couldn’t sleep though with the image of Bam naked with all those people burned into his brain. Hours passed and Ryan just sat there staring at his boyfriend watching his chest rise and fall slowly. After eight hours of just staring silently Ryan stood moving to the closet and grabbing his suitcase. Slowly and painfully Ryan packed everything he owned shoving things in angrily. After twenty minutes of packing Ryan was almost done and Bam’s eyes were fluttering open.

“Mornin, baby.”

“Good morning, Bam.”

“What are you doing?"

“Packing.”

“For what?”

“I’m leaving.”

“Leaving for what?”

“I’m moving out?”

“Why?”

“Because of last night, Bam!”

“Rybear, I was drunk.”

“I don’t care. We’re done.”

“Yeah right. You’ll be crawling back to me in two seconds, Ryan. You can’t survive with me. I’m the one who made you famous. Now get back into bed.”

Ryan suddenly felt his heart shatter into a million different pieces. Tears sprung into his eyes and he had to suck up determined not to start sobbing.

“You are the biggest fucking whiney scumbag bitch I’ve ever met, Bam Margera! I hope you rot in fucking hell! You’re a pathetic little loser! Go die a painful slow death! “

Ryan shoved the last of his t-shirts into his bag zipping it closed with force. Suddenly Bam understood he had seriously hurt his boyfriend.

“Please, baby, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t even fucking go there, Bam! You promised me! You promised that you were done! And since you’re not done fucking everything that walks, I’m done with you. Call me when you grow up.”

“Ryan, just give me one more chance!”

Bam sat up looking at his boyfriend and moving to stand in front of the bedroom door.

“Move!"

“No! Please can’t we just talk about this like adults? Common, Ry! I’m begging!”

“I’m done talking to you! The answer is no! I’m leaving! Read my lips, Brandon, we’re over! I never want to see you again!”

Bam’s hands began to shake as he spread them out desperately blocking the door.

“I love you, Ryan!”

“Apparently not enough to keep your dick in your pants now MOVE!”

Grinding his teeth together Ryan grabbed his bag and moved to stand in front of Bam.

“Get out of my way.”

“You can’t leave me, Ryan! I’m not going to let you go!”

Bam placed a gentle hand on his boyfriend’s chest.

“I was drunk and stupid, I’ll admit it! And I’m sorry! What more do you want from me?”

“I want you to move out of my way and take your hand off of me.”

Smirking sensually Bam pulled Ryan into him grinding their hips together. For a moment Ryan even forgot something was wrong, but suddenly a flashback from last night came to him.

“Bam, fuckin move or I’m knocking you out!”

But Bam refused to listen staying rooted in his spot pleading with Ryan. Suddenly something snapped inside Ryan and he lashed out punching Bam squarely in the nose. Bam crumpled to the floor yelping, but Ryan simply stepped over him storming out finally having had enough.

“RYAN”, Bam screamed but the only response he got was the front door slamming closed and the sound of Ryan’s car starting.

April poked her head into the room having heard her son’s pitiful cries.

“Bam, what’s goi—Bam? BAM!”

Blood was pouring from Bam’s broken nose but he barely felt it knowing that Ryan was gone.

“How did you break your nose?”

“Ryan punched me”, Bam stated matter of factly.

“Why would he do that? Where is he?

It felt as if a hole had been ripped through his heart and Bam couldn’t even move never mind try to explain to his mother what had just happened.

“Just please go away, mom.”

“Bam, what happened?”

“Please get out."

April stood and unhappily walked out the door.

“Call for me if you need anything, honey”

“Leave”

Bam curled into a tight ball on the floor whimpering softly wondering how he had lost Ryan in one night. It felt as if his world was crashing down around him. He really loved Ryan with all his heart. But for some reason he had gotten so drunk that he had allowed his friend to rope him into an all out orgy.

“Hey, Bam”, Novak called bouncing through the door a few hours later.

“GET OUT!”

Bam threw something at Novak and just curled back up. Novak walked down the stairs rubbing his head from the shoe Bam had had hit him with.

“What’s wrong with you” Raab asked.

“Something’s wrong with Bam. He just threw a shoe at me.”

“There’s nothing abnormal about that!”

“No, seriously, Raab. Something is really wrong. Where’s Dunn?”

“Why would I know? I haven’t seen him all morning.”

Raab flipped his phone open and pressed his speed dial for Ryan. On the first ring Ryan picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hey Ry, it’s Raab.”

“It’s called caller I.D., dumbass. What do you want?”

“Where are you, man?”

“At the bar.”

“Dude, something’s wrong with Bam. Do you know what’s up?”

“No, and I don’t care.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t care.”

Raab looked up at Novak with concern etched on his face.

“Well when are you coming back?”

“I’m not.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m not coming back.”

“Why not?”

“I’m done. I’m out. I left. Bye, Raab!”

Ryan slammed his phone down on the counter and chugged the rest of his drink holding the glass out for a refill for the fourth time. Bam on the other hand was still curled up on the floor just staring at the door in silence. A whole day passed with Bam curled into the fetal position on the floor screaming at anyone who tried to enter the room. His limbs were freezing and finally remembering that he had a skating even in a few days he knew he couldn’t be sick. Carefully Bam pushed himself up dragging his mostly numb body to the bed and curling up under a blanket. He was shivering. Suddenly he smelled Ryan’s scent creep into his nostrils flooding his brain. Bam opened his eye wide looking around only to find the scent was coming from a t-shirt Ryan had accidentally left behind. With tears flooding his blue eyes Bam grabbed the abandoned t-shirt holding it tightly to his chest. Four more days passed and Bam only lay there completely broken.

“Bam”, April whispered cracking the bedroom door open.

He couldn’t even move though. It felt as if his muscles were being eaten away by his own body and his throat was so dry with thirst he could barely speak.

“Bam, please. You need to eat and drink something.”

“No”, he barely rasped out feeling as is the word was sharp metal ripping his throat.

Tears sprang into April’s eyes as she studied her youngest son.

“If you don’t at least drink something you’re going to put yourself in the hospital, Brandon. Please. Nothing could be worth you throwing away your life like this.”

“Wrong”, was all Bam could say.

April began to cry moving to kneel beside her son reaching out a shaking had to touch his dark curls.

“I’m begging you. You need to get up and live.”

“Can’t.”

Sighing April stood knowing she was running out of options. She closed the door gently behind her walking back down the stairs to where a small group of people were gathered. Raab, Dico, Rake Yohn, Jesse Margera, Phil, Johnny Knoxville, Novak, Don Vito, and Joe Franz were all sitting around on couches all with identical worried looks plastered over their faces. April took a seat next to Phil on the fireplace’s ledge.

“He won’t come down”, she told the group grimly.

Everyone sighed in unison.

Raab was the first to speak, “What are we going to do?”

“I should go talk to him”, Jess volunteered walking up the stairs to his brother.

They had all been taking turns trying to talk to Bam for the past three days with each being less successful than the last. Dico stood knowing exactly what his friend needed. Bam needed Ryan.

“I’m going to find Ryan”, Dico announced standing up.

“I’m comin with”, Novak, Rake and Raab all exclaimed in unison.

The four boys stood walking out the door without a second glance. Johnny, Franz, Phil, April and Don Vito watched the boys leave hoping this final resort would bring Bam out of his deep, dangerous depression.

Ryan was sitting alone at the very end of the bar hidden in a corner. His eyes were deeply blood shot and he had dark bags under each green orb.

“Ryan, thank god”, Dico exclaimed running to his friend’s side.

“I told you to leave me alone, Bran! What will it take to get it through your thick head?”

Ryan stood heading for the back door, but Raab blocked the way.

“Guys, common. I told you that I’m done.”

“Ryan, you have to come back. Bam is dying.”

“Stop being dramatic, Novak.”

“He’s not being dramatic, dude! He won’t move or eat or drink. He’s killing himself.”

“So check him into a hospital. Just leave me out of it.”

The four boys sighed then looked up nodding in unison. In one swoop they all grabbed Ryan bodily picking him up and carrying him out the door. Ryan fought with all the strength he had, but his drinking binge he was going through had weakened him greatly. They shoved Ryan into the trunk of the car slamming it closed.

Raab grabbed his cell phone dialing April instantly, “we got him. See ya in a few.”

Dico pushed the car to its top speed flying back to Castle Bam. Johnny and Jess met the four boys outside and they all dragged Ryan all the way up to Bam’s room. April placed a tray filled with food, coffee and a huge bottle of water on Bam’s nightstand smiling softly as Ryan was thrown into the bedroom despite his protests.

“Now you two are going to make nice or you’re not coming out”, Johnny yelled slamming the door behind him. Everyone stood outside the door some panting from the exertion from carrying a struggling 160 pound man up a flight of stairs. Slowly the group trickled back down the stairs waiting and praying for a miracle.

Ryan sighed looking over Bam. Everything about the younger man screamed agony and disarray; his stomach was sunken in and growling loudly, his dark hair was tangled into a rat’s nest, his eyes were missing their usual sparkle, his features reflected a serious lack of sleep, and his skin was pale and sullen.

“What have you done to yourself, Bam-Bam?”

Ryan couldn’t hide the pain behind his every word seeing his ex-boyfriend in such a terrible state. Sobering up almost instantly the blonde haired man grabbed the water from the tray and poured out a small cup. Bam turned his head away at the cup, but Ryan’s fingers found the younger man’s chin forcing him to take a sip of water. Once the first drop hit the back of Bam’s throat his survival instincts took over. He instantly tried to grab for the cup and drink the whole thing down.

“Easy, baby. Slow down!”

A pitiful whimper escaped Bam’s lips as Ryan gently ran his fingers over the dark haired man’s face.

“Ry”, Bam whimpered out sure this was simply a mirage.

“Hush, Bam. Let me take care of you for a little bit.”

Ryan fed Bam small bites of toast tenderly forcing him to take sips of water in between. Slowly Ryan nursed his ex-boyfriend enough for him to speak.

“You’re real?”

“Of course I’m fucking real, Bam!”

Ryan desperately tried not to lecture Bam knowing his entire body had probably been weakened in the last few days.

“BamBam, I’m taking you to the hospital. No protests! I seriously don’t want to hear it. You could have killed yourself! Now hold on tightly, baby.”

Ryan wrapped his arms under the younger man’s arms and legs picking him up with ease. For a moment Bam was worried about being dropped. Ryan had never even attempted to carry his friend, but the moment Bam felt Ryan’s hardened muscles against him he knew he was safe. Every single frowning face in the living room brightened instantly when they heard footsteps on the staircase. The small group stood up watching Ryan carrying Bam several of them moving to help instantly.

“April, call in an ambulance please. He needs to get checked into the hospital now.”

Bam’s mother looked up studying Ryan, whose body was set protective stance refusing to let go of Bam. April moved to the phone dialing 911 and within minutes Bam was being loaded into the back of an ambulance and it was taking off down the dirt road. Ryan had fought his way into the white vehicle alongside April after threatening death to everyone.

“What seems to be the problem with Bam this time”, a haggard blonde nurse said looking between the familiar faces of Ryan and April.

“He refused to eat or drink for five days, and he hasn’t been sleeping much.”

The nurse’s eyes went wide in shock amazed that Bam could even speak.

“I forced him to eat some toast and drink some water a little while ago”, Ryan added suddenly feeling exhausted.

The nurse hurried off to Bam’s room to start an I.V. instantly and check his vital signs. Bam had donated a bunch of money to hospital and had a special room reserved 24/7 with a door that actually closed. For a moment Ryan stood outside the door wondering if he should really go inside. He had missed Bam terribly, but he knew what had happened at that party would be an image he would never forget. After a few minutes of debating Ryan finally opened the door stepping inside. Bam’s eyes were closed just listening the methodic dripping and beeping of the equipment hooked into his body. He heard the door open and close instantly sensing that it was Ryan. The blonde sighed softly seeing Bam laying in the white hospital bed looking incredibly peaceful.

“Oh, Bam”, Ryan said as he sat down in the plush chair next to Bam.

Bam considered answering, but decided against it at the last second wondering what Ryan would do. For a moment Ryan watched the slow rise and fall of his ex-boyfriend’s chest in silence.

“What am I going to do with you, Bam? I was mad at you, but you tried to kill yourself? What were you thinking? Did you even consider what that would do to everyone around you? April would be distraught! Not to mention how I would feel. I don’t know what I would do if you had died or done serious damage. You’ve done some crazy things, but this was just stupid! I fucking love you, Bam! I love you so much. I’d forgive you for the party if you promise me that you never try anything like this again.”

Ryan sighed in frustration standing up to leave.

“Ry?”

Stopping in his tracks the older blonde turned around staring at the dark curls of his ex-boyfriend in shock.

“Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“What you just said.”

“How much of that did you hear, Bam?”

“All of it.”

Ryan frowned looking down at Bam.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were awake?”

“I just wanted to hear what you were going to say”, Bam replied shrugging his shoulders.

“You’re an asshole!”

“I’m sorry, baby. I was just curious.”

Ryan sighed looking down at his feet not wanting to meet Bam’s eyes.

“You scared me, Bam.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not just me. You scared everyone. The whole group! Everyone was so worried. You even scared the fucking doctors and they’ve seen some crazy shit.”

Ryan sat back down in the chair meeting Bam’s baby blue eyes for a few moments.

“Did you mean what you said?”

“I-I don’t know, Bam!”

“Please, Rybear. I was drunk and Ville was in there.”

Ryan sighed putting he hands on his head unhappily knowing Bam’s obsession with the famous frontman of HIM. He knew that there was no way Bam would have been able to resist. Especially if there had been one alcoholic beverage involved never mind however many it took Bam to get that drunk.

“Why can’t I just be enough for you, BamBam? This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. You did it to Jen and to Missy and even Katie back in high school. If you want this to work you can’t do that to me, baby.”

“I promise to try really hard, Ryan. I really am sorry. I was drunk and I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know. I won’t blame you if you’re seriously drunk because that’s not fair, but no more fucking around just for shits and giggles. If you want a relationship with me then I want you for me.”

“Ryan, I would do anything for you. I have one favor to ask.”

Sighing softly Ryan reached for Bam’s hand holding on tightly.

“What’s your favor, baby?”

“Marry me, Ryan. I don’t care if we have to go to Canada and I don’t care what happens because of it.”

Ryan’s green eyes opened as wide as possible as he just stared at Bam in shock.

“What?”

“Please do me the highest honor and marry me, Ryan Matthew Dunn.”

“I-I-I-I-wait, are you serious?”

“Dead serious. Please, Ryan?”

“Yes, of course. I have wanted nothing more since like high school, BamBam.”