Title: Rebuild
Rating: Hard R
Pairing:
Dugera
Summary: Ryan comes in as Bam's savior, but can he save himself?
Warnings: Rape, murder, anger, general nastiness, and sadness
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. I do not know any of the famous people I write about and will never claim to. I'm just a fan and this is just my story.
Bam laid silently on the floor in the fetal position tears smearing his carefully applied eye liner. Bruises marred every inch of his skin. He was completely naked and a pool of blood and some other substance was forming on the floor. The bite marks on his neck and shoulders had small drips of blood leaking from them as well as a few knife wounds, but most of the blood was coming from between Bam’s gently curving butt. His entire body was screaming in agony. He felt like he had been trampled by an elephant that then proceeded to shove its entire body in Bam’s tight ass. There had been rough nights with his lover, but this one was beyond anything Bam could imagine. Shame washed through his body knowing he had screwed up yet again. He had put on two pounds. When his lover found out there was hell to pay. Bam had screamed and begged for mercy, but he knew he would never receive it. The toe of his lover’s boot jammed into his side over and over again. His lover’s hands found their way around Bam’s neck choking him into unconsciousness. Every time Bam’s eyes closed he could feel the agony of his lover’s unlubricated fist shoving its way inside his ass. He could practically feel the rips in his body tearing open again.
“Bam?”
He could hear the voice, but words of response wouldn’t form. Doors slammed open as panicked footsteps ran through the lower floor of the house. Bam tried desperately to stand but his hands slipped in blood. He came crashing back to the floor. After what seemed like years the door to the bedroom he was in opened.
“BAM!”
He felt warm fingers tentatively touch his shoulder. Even though he knew it wasn’t his lover Bam flinched.
“B-B-Bam, please answer me. Can you speak? Bam, please.”
His throat was so sore he was shocked he even got a single word out.
“No.”
“I’m calling the ambulance! Just hang on. It’ll be okay!”
“No. Bed.”
“No way, Bam! Not this time! You need to go to the hospital! You’re lying in a pool of fucking blood!”
“Bed”, was the only word he could get out before he passed out tired and freezing on the floor.
He awoke what seemed like minutes later. The scream that came from his throat made him cough and choke as he tried to fight at whatever was wrapped around him.
“BAM! Bam, calm down! They’re just blankets! Stop!”
Bam finally stopped realizing the voice was right. He had been clawing and fighting off his blankets. Slowly his head turned to see the speaker.
“Ry?”
Ryan was sitting in a chair he had dragged into the room. The older man looked like he hadn’t slept in days. His usually soft eyes were blood shot and puffy with dark bags hanging from under them.
“Jesus Christ, Bam. You need to be in a hospital! You need doctors! Just look at you!”
Bam looked down a little taken back by what he saw. He knew he was bruised, but this was bad. His entire body was covered in yellow, purple, and black bruises. He didn’t even want to know what state his face was in. Slowly his tongue slipped out of his mouth to run over his split lips.
“Bam, please let me take you to the hospital”, Ryan pleaded.
“No.”
Ryan was furious at his best friend’s stubbornness, but he didn’t have the heart to show it. Bam was hurt worse than Ryan had ever seen. He had picked Bam off the floor several times before, but this was in a whole other ball park. Usually Bam could walk to the bed, but this time Ryan had to carefully pick up the blood covered man. Ryan couldn’t even hold back his tears when he had started to clean up the mess Bam’s broken body had left behind. There was blood caked into the cracks of the hard wood flooring mixed with semen and urine. The smell alone had forced Ryan to run to the nearest toilet to throw up. He even had move Bam into another bedroom when the blood running from open wounds started to seep into the mattress.
“Why, Bam?”
“I’m fat.”
Ryan winced at the obvious pain that edged out from behind Bam’s every word.
“I meant. . .how could you let him do this to you?”
“Love him.”
The answer had Ryan running for the toilet again. When he walked back in the room he found Bam back in the fetal position whimpering pathetically. A cut on the small man’s back had reopened under the bandage Ryan had carefully applied. Ryan sighed heavily walking back to the bedside.
“Bam, I need you to look at me.”
Slowly Bam’s usually sparkling blue eyes lifted to meet Ryan’s blue-green orbs. A large lump formed in Ryan’s throat when he looked into those beautiful blue pools only to see emptiness and despair. Bam only held the eye contact for a moment before burying his face back into the pillow. His body was in agony, but it was his heart that hurt the most. The only thing Bam could think about was what Ryan must think of him.
Suddenly a familiar voice piped up in Bam’s head making him jump, “You’re weak! You’re a pathetic excuse for a man. Look at you, curled up like a fucking pussy! You don’t even deserve to live! Get the fuck up, you little shit! I’m surprised you can even find clothing to fit your fat ass. Worthless. Piece. Of. Shit!”
Bam squealed in agony flinching away from punches that weren’t really there.
“Come back to me, BamBam! You need to come back to me!”
Finally Ryan’s frantic words cut through the voice in Bam’s head.
“I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about, BamBam. Can you do something for me?”
Terror reflected in Bam’s eyes as he waited for the command.
“Shh. I just want you to relax for a second. I need to go downstairs and get you some food. Do you remember that song from when you were a little kid? The one Ape used to sing to you.”
Slowly Bam nodded almost feeling warmth at the memory.
“I want you to think of that song. Sing it to yourself. Don’t think of anything but that song, okay?”
Bam nodded again as he quietly sang to himself, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. So please don’t take my sunshine away.”
By the time Ryan walked back up the stairs with the food Bam was singing the song for the fourth time. Ryan paused smiling at the doorway when he saw Bam’s hand gently tracing a design on the sheets as he sang. The presence of another person in the room did not go unnoticed by Bam and he instantly stopped singing pulling his hand back into his body. Ryan’s heart broke when he saw Bam curl back up like a frightened child not a 30-year-old man.
“I made you soup.”
Ryan set the tray down on a table and moved to help Bam sit up. Every whimper and hiss of pain that escaped Bam’s mouth forced Ryan to struggle to keep his anger in check. He was going to kill the man who did this to Bam. It took a few minutes, but Bam was soon sitting up in bed trying to keep the look of pain from his face. Ryan moved the tray into Bam’s lap urging him to eat. Bam suddenly realized how hungry he was. His stomach growled angrily and he happily dug into the soup. Ryan smiled just watching the skeleton-thin Bam eat until he saw the brunette’s entire demeanor change. The spoon clattered loudly onto the tray.
“Bam?”
“I shouldn’t be eating”, Bam stated his entire face going pale when he realized what he was doing.
“Bam, stop it! You need to—“
“I need to get out to the gym.”
The throbbing of his every body part seemed to dull as the realization of how furious his lover would be the next time around took over. Ryan’s strong hand found its way to Bam’s chest gently applying pressure to the least bruised spot.
“No! You are staying in this fucking bed, damnit! You’re hurt, you’re skinny as hell, and I’m not letting you go.”
Bam looked up at his friend shocked. The fear slowly ebbed away from Bam’s brain and the pain returned. Ryan sighed looking at the agony that reflected in Bam’s every feature.
“You should rest some more.”
Ryan stood to close the curtains, but Bam reached out.
“Please don’t leave.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to leave. I’ll never leave. I’m just going to close the curtains, baby.”
Bam smiled for a moment, but fell back into memories. He couldn’t help, but think of his lover while the knuckle marks still bore into his flesh.
“Bam?”
“Uh huh?”
“I need you to turn over really quick so I can change the bandage on your back.”
Groaning in agony Bam slowly maneuvered his body so he was lying on his stomach.
“Take a deep breath, BamBam. I have to pull the bandage off.”
“FUCK!”
Ryan winced at the pitiful sounds that came from Bam’s mouth. With gentle hands Ryan applied a new bandage to the worst cut Bam had.
“Jesus, BamBam, did he take a fucking cleaver to you?”
The blonde was just trying to lighten the mood, but he was in fact completely correct. Bam whimpered curling into a tight ball nodding slowly.
“WHAT!? H-h-he took a fucking knife to you? I’m going to kill him! He’s fucking dead!”
Ryan could barely get the words out between his tightly clenched teeth. Fury ripped through the older man’s powerful muscles. He wanted to throw something or strangle something. He turned to see a shocking sight; Bam was slipping toward the door wincing at every step.
“Brandon Cole Margera, what the fuck do you think you’re doing? Get back in bed!”
Bam froze realizing he had been caught. The skater quickly scrambled to slip under the covers managing to reopen most of his cuts in the process.
“Ow! Shit! Ow! Fuckin’ hell! Ow!”
“Damnit, Bam, where the hell were you going”, Ryan growled out as he tried to patch up Bam’s bleeding back and legs.
“I-I-I just wanted to go outside and skate for a bit.”
“You’re insane, seriously insane! You can barely walk never mind skate!”
Bam lowered his voice to a mumble, “I could use the exercise too.”
Sighing Ryan sat down on the bed looking into Bam’s cerulean eyes.
“BamBam?”
“Mmhm”, Bam mumbled shifting his eyes nervously to the floor.
“Baby, please look at me.”
Bam really did try to look up at his best friend, but only made it to Ryan’s nose. Ryan sighed softly understanding and hooking a finger to Bam’s scruffy chin. They both had to lean back a bit to avoid their lips from meeting. The chemistry between the two was undeniable; they were magnets always just inches from meeting. Ryan knew though that pushing Bam into anything was wrong. Bam seemed more fragile and vulnerable than ever. His ribs jutted out from his sides and his skin was so pale he looked like a ghost.
After a month of Ryan’s incessant mothering Bam started to look like his old self. The brunette had gained a bit of weight and most of the bruises had disappeared. On the outside Bam seemed like he was himself, but one look into those deep blue pools and anyone could see the turmoil.
“What do you want for dinner tonight, baby”, Ryan asked searching through the almost empty refrigerator.
“I donno. Want to order Chinese?”
“Sounds like a plan to me.”
Bam was perched on top of the counter planning a new skateboard trick he wanted to try out on the ramp.
“Hey, Ry, I was thinking about something last night.”
“About what?”
“Thinking about maybe going up to Vermont to snowboard next week.”
Ryan froze for a moment, he hadn’t left Bam’s side since the night he had found the brunette on the floor.
“Yeah that sounds like fun. Y-y-you should have fun.”
Bam’s eyebrows rose as he tried to figure out the odd tone of voice.
“Do you still have those snowboarding pants? It’s freezing up in Vermont.”
“Yeah. They’re upstairs in my closet. Just make sure you give them back.”
“Give them back?”
“When you come home.”
“You’re not gonna come”, Bam asked his voice reflecting the hurt in his heart.
It was Ryan’s turn to arch an eyebrow.
“I thought you meant just you. I mean I’d love to go, but if you don’t want me to come then you don’t have to take me.
Bam sighed leaning back to rest his back against the wall and Ryan started searching drawers for the Chinese menu.
“Ry?”
“Yeah, BamBam?”
“When are we going to talk about it?”
“Talk about what? The snowboarding trip? I thought we just did.”
“Not that, Random!”
Ryan looked up at Bam wondering what his friend was talking about a bit alarmed by the nervous expression plastered on the younger man’s face.
“You okay?”
“WegottatalkrightnowaboutthisthingwithuscauseifnotnowI’mgonnalikeexplodeorsomecornyshit!”
“Wow. All I heard out of that was, “Gotta right about thing cause not I’m gonna explode some shit.””
Both men burst into laughter. Bam ending up laying on counter laughing until his ribs hurt and Ryan landing on the floor pretty sure his face was bright red. Suddenly the shrill sound of Bam’s cell phone broke up the hysterics. Bam flipped open the device without even thinking wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes. The brunette froze when a deadly, cold voice came over the line.
“Hi, Bammy.”
“H-h-hi.”
“You haven’t called me in a month.”
Bam started to tremble finding it hard to breathe.
“I know Ryan’s there.”
Instinctively Bam’s eyes flew to the windows searching the trees for a figure.
“He shouldn’t be there. He might get hurt when I come see you tomorrow.”
Full blown panic erupted inside Bam, he squeaked loudly dropping the phone and just staring at it. Ryan looked up from the menu he had finally found. He instantly flew into protective mode swiping up the discarded phone.
“Listen you little fucker, I’m gonna fucking kill you. I’ll fucking come over there and kick your sorry ass into the dirt. I’ll kill you! You’ll be buried down so fucking deep no one will ever find you! I fucking swear, I’ll rip every limb off your body one at a time and just let you lay there in agony. I’ll find the sickest, most painful way to kill a person and do it to you! Do you fucking understand?”
Before the voice even had time to respond Ryan flung the phone across the room shattering it against a wall. He turned, tears in his eyes reaching for Bam, but the younger man took a step back. Bam’s blue eyes were huge in confusion and terror. He had never seen Ryan this angry and the shadows in those blue-green orbs reminded Bam of another person who had a nasty temper.
“Bam, please.”
The brunette tried desperately to shake his head clear for a moment there was another face on Ryan’s beautiful body. Until the word “please” Bam had only been able to see his ex-lover. Out of woods an ear-shattering bang erupted. Ryan gasped loudly and stumbled forward crumpling to the floor. Bam shrieked falling to his knees at the blonde’s side. It took a moment before Bam realized the blood was already pooling around his knees pouring out off a hole in Ryan's back.
“RYAN! Ryan, please! Please wake up! No! No, this can’t happen! WAKE UP!”
Bam screamed shaking Ryan’s limp body desperately, but he never got an answer.
